Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Broken Heart, Nothing new for me

Broken Hearts are nothing to me anymore. I seem to get one once or twice a week. All I ever want to do is help and it always blows up in my face. As having a nursing background I know a few tricks to help people deal with their pain issues legally. Well My mom has had both knees replaced and has restless leg syndrome. The combination of the 2 make her have severe almost unbearable pain at times. I talked to her dr. Personally as well as her Pharmacist whom I trust. They told me both to do the same thing which I did. While doing so I felt spied on as usual. and Someone I trust with my life goes and tells my mom I pocketed some of her pills, which I did in order to do what was prescribed to do. So I was made to look like an ASS as usual. Instead of ASSUMING I am stealing please come ask me I will tell you what I am doing, in fact I will show you how to do it yourself so next time I won't be the one with the pills in my pocket, you will be. I am not a perfect person and I fight my demons daily, please don't add to my stress. I just now am starting to regain some parts of who I use to be. Don't ruin it for me. I don't want to snap again and end up In the physc ward again. I have fought to hard and am continuing to fight for my sanity. I am sick I know that and I know it is going to be a long time before I am better. Don't hinder my progress I beg you. As for borrowing pills from mom I will be the first to say yes I have. At times I do need a xanax or 2 to help calm me down, but I repay her always whether it be a xanax of mine or a valium. Don't make me look like the bad guy who always borrows from my mom because I am not... I know for a fact others borrow from her as well. Take a hard look at yourselves before you completely judge me.
Love you all
Paul Michael Forester


  1. I am sorry you have to deal with a broken heart so much, I know what it's like and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
    And as for "borrowing" xanax from your mom, I don't know how I would survive without it!!! I think it's God's gift to those of us with issues. In fact if it wasn't for xanax, I'm sure both Russ and I would not very nice to be around and probably would have killed each other by now!!
    I am also sorry you are being judged so hastily because of past actions, but understand it is human nature and I assume they are doing it to protect you, not just to be a tattle...but I don't know, I can only hope their intentions were pure and if not, SCREW THEM!!!!!!
    Love ya bunches,

  2. I agree with you completely Brandy they do it out of love, but it is Harsh love. I have done my time let me ove on lol. Someone was like How the hell did he con Valium from his Physc dr with his history. It is simple the Dr. Knows my complete history he knows of 3 suicide attempts he knows I am Bi-Polar He knows I have self medicated, which i no longer am. Basically the guy knows me and what I need If I didn't need it I would not get it. another funny thing is that mom "borrowed" my valium lolol. I have no control over my medicine right now for safety reason so I don't know what the fuss is all about.
    Paul Michael Forester

  3. Hey you know joe and I love ya. Esp. now that I have two honeys. LOL